He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Do vagina's smell?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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