ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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