we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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