How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I think I won the penis lottery.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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