hotel room ftw
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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