Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
