I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
