And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
