I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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