wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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