You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize