capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
