i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
