i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
