Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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