I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
