I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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