Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
