The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
operation harelip BJ is a go
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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