dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
