You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
