Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
