I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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