We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
