I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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