Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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