It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
