69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
