he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
