Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
