dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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