Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
