dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
