why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
