Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
