she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
