does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
