if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize