just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
