I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
