please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize