go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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