Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
