the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
