Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
