true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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