Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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