I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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