Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
