He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
