Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
