so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
