I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
