We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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