i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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