life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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