apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
