Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
