i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
