Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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