Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
