It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
