why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
